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Archive for December, 2013

You can’t have a blog without writing a New Year’s post, right?  So here’s my reflection on 2013 and thoughts on the upcoming year…

2013 was a year like no other.  There have been some amazing highs and some pretty awful lows.  It’s not a year I want to repeat, that’s for sure.  But I am grateful it happened.  2013 brought with it some important changes and some great accomplishments.  I never dreamed I would ever run a 5k and I accomplished a 14k in 2013.  I became an aunt and godmother this year which has brought a wonderful new joy and love to my life.  I accepted a new job which has proven to be very challenging but I am absolutely loving!  And probably most noteworthy, 2013 is the year I made the decision to pursue becoming a foster parent.

It’s also been an extremely stressful and challenging year.  And there have been moments that I hope to never ever repeat.  Things happen for a reason but sometimes even looking back, you can’t see that reason.  There have definitely been times like that in 2013.  And while I have so much to look forward to in 2014, it is also a year that I will enter with some apprehension and sadness.

Even when so many things are going so right, we all have aspects of our lives that we wish were different.  Relationships, financial situations, waistlines…No one’s life is perfect.  That’s why New Year’s resolutions exist, right?  So I’m sure I am not alone to be entering 2014 hoping that some things will be different by the end of this new year.  Hoping that some of the sadness that exists right now will be gone.  Hoping that I can accomplish the goals I have set out to achieve (No, I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions but I have been setting goals I would like to accomplish with the intent that some of those goals will be achieved in 2014).  And of course, hoping that some of the clothes hanging in my closet will be too big to wear next winter. 😉

Without a boubt, one of the biggest goals on that list is to become a foster parent.  It’s a terrifying and exhilarating goal.  It’s a goal that will require a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice.  But I believe the reward will be worth it!  This week, I’ve been drafting a new budget, moving furniture to start creating the nursery, getting rid of clutter, rearranging closets, sorting baby supplies I’ve been given already, etc.  It’s work but it is also so exciting to see progress that I’m ok with putting in the work.  It’s fun!

So as a reflect, I can’t help but think about those who have come and gone this year.  There are people who entered my life in 2013 that I am so grateful for but on the other hand, there are several family and friends that I am missing terribly as I enter 2014.  I can only pray that God knows what he is doing and try to remind myself that people enter and leave our lives for a reason.  Becoming a mom in 2014 without certain people by my side will not be easy.  For example, in the 10 years since I lost my mom, I don’t think anything has been harder than beginning the process of becoming a mom myself without her here.  She would have loved to be a grandmother.  I can only pray for continued comfort and strength to live life without these people who are so important to me and trust that this is all happening as it was meant to be.

Let the 2014 journey begin!

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I was so overwhelmed by all of the comments I received after announcing my plans to become a foster mom.  Truly I never could have imagined that level of acceptance and support.  But I shared with a close friend recently how uncomfortable all of the comments actually made me.  Please don’t misunderstand.  I am so very grateful for the support and kind words.  But it is very hard to accept.  While everyone is saying how selfless I am, I feel this decision is actually quite selfish.  I want to be a mom and foster parenting is a way for me to achieve that.  I am, in large part, doing this for me.  Do the kids benefit in the process?  Of course.  But my decision to do this was for me.  To fulfill a dream of mine.  And honestly, it’s uncomfortable to be put up on a pedestal for something that doesn’t feel selfless and certainly doesn’t feel extraordinary.

I came across this great blog post written by a foster mom and was very struck by the first item on her list.  I had struggled with the decision to write a blog post about my reaction to all of the compliments.  I definitely didn’t want to offend anyone.  But reading this post confirmed that I feel the way most foster parents do and so I felt I needed to share.  Please don’t feel bad about anything you said.  I am certainly not writing this to make you regret anything you said.  Like I said, I am so very touched by all the comments, I really was.  I just ask that you recognize that what you see as an amazing act, for me feels like I very ordinary, selfish act.

What Foster Parents Wish Other People Knew.

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